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<title>Green Is The Color Of Trauma by idrilhadhafang</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29731305">Green Is The Color Of Trauma</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang'>idrilhadhafang</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Character Study, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Past Mind Control, Trauma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:12:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>259</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29731305</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo’s reflections on the night Luke nearly killed him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Allbingo, Bad Day Collection</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Green Is The Color Of Trauma</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Prompt: Lime </p><p>Disclaimer: I own nothing.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If one would regard Kylo Ren’s account of the night that (it seemed) Luke tried to kill him, they would assume, once learning the “truth” (as Luke would never let anyone know how he was violated mentally), that Kylo Ren was lying.<br/>
<br/>
The truth was, what Kylo thought was the truth was almost confused in his mind.<br/>
<br/>
He could remember the flash of green light above him, the green light that he didn’t realize was shining in his eyes, the heat that crackled against his skin, but he couldn’t say what look Luke had in his eyes when he was holding the lightsaber. Sometimes, Kylo swore that it was hatred, a desire to kill him. Like there was something utterly disgusting about Kylo that needed to be destroyed.<br/>
<br/>
It was the easiest to picture. It was the easiest to think. That he was unwanted. That even Luke Skywalker, who had seen the good in Vader, didn’t want anything to do with him.<br/>
<br/>
It was easy.<br/>
<br/>
Maybe Luke had been jealous of him too. Kylo supposed that green was a fitting color to associate with that memory. Green was the color of trauma, of betrayal. Of venom and jealousy.<br/>
<br/>
***<br/>
<br/>
Even when Luke would resurrect him after Exegol, even when he became a Jedi again, he didn’t make his lightsaber green. The color took on additional connotations: how his uncle had been mentally raped by Palpatine. Green was the color of his uncle’s trauma too.<br/>
<br/>
He hoped, at least, that green would take on happier connotations. Just not in a lightsaber.</p>
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